Literary Crumbs: Poems & Short Stories to Savor by D. Ryan Lafferty

By D. Ryan Lafferty

At one time, Carol and Amy were the closest of friends. Carol the scatter brained type, was a wide-eyed optimist with a passion for the world and everything in it. Each moment was an adventure and she’d marvel at even the most mundane facets of ordinary life. She loved softball, jogging, and her unbridled enthusiasm would often tapdance on the toes of Amy’s last nerve. Carol took delight in the simple brilliance of the world with a poetic fawning over sunsets, rain clouds, and the like. She’d often sat and just watched people, common strangers, coming and going on the street. The innocuous details in nature seemed to her fascinating and wondrous things. Amy was… well, let’s just say that whatever way Carol was, Amy was not. If, one day, out of nowhere, the elevator spoke three languages, sang her happy birthday, and served her cherry cheesecake on the way up to the 37th floor, she wouldn’t have batted an eye. This hard-as-nails city girl did not suffer fools, pastels, or tourists. They’d met, by chance, at a quaint little cafe on mainstreet where Carol ordered, “A chai tea latte, please.”  Amy stood immediately behind Carol, with her arms crossed in attitude and loudly cleared her throat with eyes pointed up at the ceiling, “Chai latte…” she interjected dryly. “Excuse me” Carol replied with a look that was half wonder and half incredulity. “Chai is Hindi for the word tea,” she huffed, “ you’re asking for a tea tea latte.” The two paused for an uncomfortable moment, but Carol caught a clear twinkle at the edge of Amy’s eye, and they erupted in a laugh for far too long; at least from the barista’s perspective; it was his turn to roll his eyes and mutter something under his coffee breath. Such an odd coupling of best friends was one for the ages, but this seems to be the way life works. Unexpected it was, for sure, but it lasted for years. The yin to a yang, or something like that. They seemed to balance each other with temperament, humor, and vivacity, but that was before tensions had started to rise and the trouble began.

It all started when, well to be honest, there wasn’t any single incident that either pal could point to, and if there was, neither could remember it now. Carol’s impression was that she’d said something foolish as was so often in her nature. Maybe an unintended insult to her friend’s feelings in a moment of innocent thoughtlessness that stuck in Amy’s craw. For Amy, it was something different, she had heard from others that her good friend had been whispering about her behind her back. Through several hints gleaned from various confidants and acquaintances, Amy began to store and keep these rumors like prized possessions in a tiny collection. Her own little menagerie of slights, grievances and innuendo reaped from Carol’s apparent avenues of investigation, probing into the sensitive foibles and flaws of her camarade. 

At first, it was nothing, just a mild irritation, but neither friend would simply speak to the other in order to clear the air. As time moved on, nerves grew raw, chafing from the unresolved conflict. Rumors became threats and the two grew entrenched in their opposition to one another. They were bitter enemies by now, and escalating tension had grown beyond annoyance. The pressure cooker of guilt and hostility boiled over in both their lives, each sinking further and further into the throes of bitter conflict. They were now entrenched in opposite sides of a private little war whose origin was long forgotten. Now, there were only sleepless nights, the lull of depression and the labored efforts that come with these. Carol’s cheery disposition had soured and her fascination with the world’s wonders turned to malaise. Unimpressed and agitated, she could only see the cycle of offenses thrown before her by her nemesis. Amy’s tough persona grew into bitterness. Her coworkers would duck and cover at any hint of her coming down the hall; unwilling to get caught in the friendly fire of this personal armageddon. 

It had only been a month, but the vitriolic churning, the backbiting, the name calling, the heightened levels of frustration reached a rollicking boil. It was time for a confrontation. A showdown between two forces of nature; now at odds, but somehow inextricably linked. Diametrically opposed elemental parts of the same cosmic being were hurtling toward an epic clash of the titans. The world shook and trembled, but in reality, everyone around them was just praying for it to end. This tension was exhausting.

The showdown was not nearly as epic as they all had imagined it would be. No gunslinging standoff at the O.K. Corral, no shrinking shadows at high noon. There was only the silence of two bitter friends, hiding their hurt feelings behind scowls and pinched eyes. It was mid-afternoon at their favorite little coffee shop. A place they’d spent countless hours of pure delight in days of old, but now irritation and attitude hung in the air amid rich heavy notes of freshly brewed espresso. The last lines of defense on an empty battlefield where the only casualties were themselves, their friends, and their families. The two locked eyes when Carol walked up to the counter and saw Amy sitting at a small table for two nearby. They both shifted uncomfortably and turned, giving side eyes, and posturing with attitude for days. But the tension was shattered when the woman in line ahead of Carol said in a squeaky voice, “Can I have a chai tea latte please?” and the old friends couldn’t help but laugh. It was entirely awkward at first, but as they sat and talked it out, those hardened feelings began to give way to the old familiar tenderness that each had so dearly missed. They parted ways committing to building back the bridges and mending the fences that were decimated in their war.

Peace can be an awfully uncomfortable thing when one is so used to the sights, the sounds, and the feelings that come with fighting. From the moment that she awoke the next day, Carol ran through the conversation again and again in her mind. Her first instinct was to scrutinize the sentiments that her friend had shared, Amy’s rationale for her behavior, the wording of her friend’s phrases, her body language, etc.. Carol stopped herself immediately and thought. “I need to forgive! I need to move on, by building those bridges and mending those fences!” She brewed her morning coffee and the same negative thoughts started sliding back into her mind and again, she resisted the familiar temptation of grinding the axe and sharpening suspicion. She realized that in just a month’s time, she had nearly become consumed by hatred, hostility, and mistrust. Those horrendous thoughts and impulses emerged again and again and again when driving to work and then several times throughout her day. They came up during lunch, and on the drive home as Carol listened to the radio she thought, “It certainly takes a real effort to break out of this cycle, out of the anger, and letting the frustration go.” She imagined that her hostility and rage had become very much like her well-worn softball glove; broken in, soft, and comfortable. Easy to slip into and only feeling more and more natural over time.  

Dr. D. Ryan Lafferty is a local Bordentown poet, writer, and the author-illustrator of children’s books. To see more of his work, visit http://www.DartanionPress.com